LOVE AND PAIN
“Only love can break a heart. Only love can mend it again.” Gene Pitney, 1962
When I went into trance to bring this Johar & Simon message, the line from the song quoted above came into my head loud and clear. This month’s message is about love and healing from the pain that only love can produce.
Namaste. We would like to speak to you about love. So many times, in spiritual classes and from spiritual teachers, even your popular group the Beatles (“All you need is love...”) the word love is brandished as the answer, the panacea, to all of life’s ills.
It is true, that love, in its true form, will heal all wounds and create an idyllic life. But few humans know how to really channel the true nature of love, which is without conditions or possessiveness and is not attached to another person or object. It is a state of being rather than a process of loving or being loved.
This being said, it is not criticism of the human nature. It is the natural state for humans to be disconnected from the true nature of being love and having to settle for second best—loving and being loved. This kind of love is the highest form of spirituality open for most humans at this stage of evolution.
So what is human love? Spiritually, because humans are individually incapsulated pieces of a greater whole - their soul group, there is a longing to connect with others, to use this connection to feel more whole. Physically, there is a need to band together for safety and to reproduce. There is a natural, hormonal need to protect and nurture offspring. The physical instincts in humans is often mistaken for love. It is instinct for survival and procreation. But because modern humans are so far removed intellectually from their primitive natures, a sexual attraction is mistaken for love. This causes many hasty marriages and many divorces.
Because of this same disconnect between physical natures and modern, industrialized living, the primitive urge to procreate creates many problems when offspring are created with no thought of how they will be cared for, or if the parents are suitable for parenthood. In other words, sexual drives, mistaken for love, create many of the problems of modern society.
Religious taboos about sex and social morality, often misplaced and stemming from puritanical origins, force humans to deal with their sexuality in distorted ways. We are not advocating sexual promiscuity or licentiousness. However, we would call for common sense and not jumping into a marital tie, forming financial entanglements, and creating offspring from a couple whose only bond is sexual attraction! Learning the difference between temporary sexual attraction, formed from fleeting astrological configurations and hormones, and a lasting love bond would ease a great deal of the pain that humans experience and lessen much of the social and psychological problems it creates for the offspring.
That being said, let’s examine other reasons people couple. There is karma, of course. When there is a debt to pay or a reward to collect from past lives, a pre-birth agreement may be made for two people to come together romantically. This may, or may not result in a legal bond called marriage. Knowing about past lives and the agreements made with certain people could avoid creating a marriage bond with someone who only owes a karmic debt. When that debt is paid, the relationship will usually change drastically or end, unless it is a life debt or agreement. Knowledge, here is invaluable. These things can be told from your astrological charts or from a sensitive who can read your akashic records.
Pre-birth agreements to come together that are not debt related, but love related, usually work out the best. You have decided that you both benefit and complete each other in positive ways, and agree to be together in harmony, in marriage or deep friendship. These, too, can be told from your astrological charts or by a sensitive who can look at your akashic records.
Regardless of why and how you come together with someone you either love or think you love, if there is an ending to the relationship that is not of your choosing, it usually causes great emotional and physical pain. Why? How? What is the process at work here? Even if you know that the relationship was toxic or if you were about to end it yourself, there can be enormous pain, feelings of betrayal, rejection, guilt, anger, or personal disempowerment.
When two people come together in “love,” your energy fields, aura, begin to bond. The longer you are together in that love, the more they become one. Rarely do the people in a relationship maintain distinctly separate energy fields. It’s like you share the same prana or life force. Psychology aside, when one decides to break the trust, move out of the relationship, or in some way begin to separate the energy forces, it is a wound left in the aura of the one who wants to keep the relationship. The one leaving redirects the energy toward the next attachment or inwardly toward self. The one who is left, has an open auric wound.
This takes time to heal. There is pain, grief, anger, and other strongly confusing emotions that are in turmoil. Sometimes, in a desperate attempt to connect and feel whole again, the person will hastily attach to another mate. Very often this is to someone completely inappropriate and another breakup ensues. Healing is imperative first, before attaching to the next “mate.”
Healing requires inward focus on self rather than outward focus on the other. It takes forward thinking rather than reliving the past. Energy healers can help heal the wound, but you must also use your free will to redirect your thinking and insight. Healing also requires knowing how to experience the reality of the person who has left rather than the idealistic fantasy of who you wanted the person to be. Very often, humans are in “love” with their ideal or fantasy about who their mate is rather than who he or she really is like.
Healing requires clarity, self-knowing, connecting to your spiritual source, and time. Give yourself time to heal before jumping into the next “fire.” Take the healing time to know yourself, discover yourself, learning to more appreciate and like yourself. Then, you will be ready to reconnect in a loving way to a new person. And, when this new person comes into your life, find out, through an astrologer or sensitive, the nature of the attraction and the relationship.
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